Multiracial, Mixed, or biracial, others want to know “what” we are before learning who we are. There are more multiracial or Mixed-race people today than ever before, yet we can easily feel the experience of othering in the communities we grow up around.
I am the multiracial child of a Taiwanese immigrant, herself the child of parents who fled the Chinese Communist Revolution, and a White dad with French–Scottish heritage.
I spent my childhood summers in Taiwan and the rest of the year in San Antonio, Texas. In Texas, my brother and I were often the subject of other parents’ fascination, and I grew up thinking “exotic” was a compliment. I often fielded questions about where I was from and “what kind of Chinese” I was–better, I suppose, than the times other students offered up guesses about my Asian ethnicity while singing a taunting song and pulling at the skin around their eyes.
I was always seen as the outsider at school in Taiwan too. I can’t count how many times others approached me to practice their English, rather than relate to me as a potential friend speaking Mandarin, my first language. Instead of making friends, I was more often seen as an exciting subject to be photographed with; kids would ask to take a picture with me before asking my name.
Why multiracial mental health?
I was highly conscious of my race at a young age (we know now that children notice race by the age of 3, even if they don’t have the language for it) and others were aware of it too. Never sure where I could fit in, I spent much of my childhood feeling different from others. Disconnected from other multiracial kids, as a minority of a minority, I had to learn for myself what it meant to inhabit a Mixed-race body and to navigate a bicultural life.
The experience and perspectives I gained are a big part of why I’m drawn to seeing clients in therapy who have felt othered or isolated in their identity journeys. As I unlearned the white supremacy myth and my own internalized racism, I became increasingly motivated to help others liberate themselves. These days, as a therapist for multiracial, hapa, Mixed, and bicultural adults & couples, I’ve learned a lot about the experiences that we share and that underline where our healing work begins.
As Mixed-race folks, some of us have had to get used to being othered. We may have been told we don’t look like who we say we are, or we’ve been mistrusted. Some of us have faced the harmful, striking impact of microaggressive questions, often repeated and starting, “Where are you from?” We’ve experienced colorism within our own family and beyond. Or maybe we’ve been accused of trying to be White, or of trying to be anyone besides ourselves. A multiracial child, we witnessed or navigated the dynamics of interracial relationships or, potentially, multicultural family life. And then there’s the race check box, where we’re usually forced to pick just one (denying ourselves) or just check “Other” and not be seen or counted.
Okay…so what? What do our experiences mean for our healing, and what do multiracial folks need when it comes to mental health? Let’s explore what it means to grow up biracial, multiracial, Mixed, or bicultural and talk about what our collective experiences might mean for our collective healing (More in part 2 of this series).
Why does the multiracial experience matter?
Multiracial children learn early on that we look different from others. We’re told that we look interesting; we are fawned over, exoticized, fetishized. Everyday life inevitably involves microaggressions. In addition, to the extent that our parents are culturally different from one another or from the dominant culture, we may be raised with ample conflicts over differences in language, norms around the family structure, values around parenting, values around navigating life, ways of showing affection, and other qualities that clash within the dominant culture. We grow up unsure of how to describe ourselves, how to identify, and with whom we fit in. We are neither like nor unlike our peers and, inevitably, trying to belong leads to some form of erasure, invisibility, and unsung song.
Despite the heavy burden it can seem at first, coming to feel positive, comfortable, and confident in multiracial identity can lead to even better mental health, resiliency, and adaptability, compared to monoracial folks. We are especially empowered to heal when we have solid support systems, positive role models, accessible community resources, and when we really feel like we belong in a larger group with shared beliefs and values. At the end of this journey is the promise of being uniquely ourselves and the first-hand experience of being seen for our most authentic, unencumbered, and joyful selves.
What is Mixed-race, multiracial, or bicultural identity?
Racial identity is nuanced, dynamic, and influenced by historical, social, and developmental factors. And when several strands of identity are brought together, the complexity of racial identity only grows. Being multiracial is more than some breakdown of our identities into percentages. Racial identity encompasses family dynamics, appearance and presentation, perceptions, internalized messaging, and cultural context.
You may identify as multiracial, Mixed, biracial, multiethnic, bicultural, or of multiple heritage if your genealogy (family lineage) belongs to more than one racial background or cultural community. You may also be multiracial (or Mixed/biracial/multiethnic/bicultural/multiple heritage) if your family is integrated into more than one racial or cultural community.
Multiracial people sometimes describe their experiences of leading a double life (one race or culture at home and another at school or work), code-switching (shifting how you talk, present yourself, or act around different groups of people), struggling with identity conflicts within a polarized culture, facing microaggressions at every turn, all potentially while navigating cultural nuances and differences within our families.
Miranda Nadeau, Ph.D. (she/her) is a deeply engaged counseling psychologist. She is passionate about helping high-achieving queer & trans folks, multiracial adults, and third culture kids craft a life worth celebrating. Contact Panorama Therapy to work with her in individual, relationship, or group therapy .
Miranda Nadeau, Ph.D.(https://www.panorama-therapy.com/)